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“Effective persuasion is a result of relating, not ruling.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2013-02-15) from his book, Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships (p. 83). David C. Cook. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

There are lots of ways to persuade but to be effective in our persuading is another thing.  As John says, “It speaks to the heart as well as to the head. Therefore, persuasion does not make use of force or intimidation.”

But we believe that intimidation is effective because we found it to be successful.  At least we’ve seen people do what we want.  But people are more important than getting our way, aren’t they?

John says, “Getting someone to do something without convincing them it’s the right thing to do is not the result of effective motivation; it’s the result of intimidation. It’s like the mom who told the little kid to sit down in the grocery cart at the supermarket. He kept standing up and she kept telling him to sit down. Finally, she reprimanded him firmly enough that he sat down. She heard him whisper to himself as he was scrambling down, ‘I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside!’”

John continues, “When we succeed in getting people to sit down on the outside while they’re still standing up on the inside, we are not persuading them; they are just accommodating us. We have neither convinced them nor have we met their basic needs.”

It may take longer but persuading through relating to people and showing them what a difference it will make for them is really what will make a healthy difference in your relationships long term.  Let’s not be rulers but effective leaders.  Remember, people are important.


So have I persuaded you to not rule but to relate?

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