“Rehearsing the past does nothing to alter or improve the future.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2015-01-06) from his book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating (p. 91). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

What Andy is dealing with here is the last part of verse 5 in 1 Corinthians 13 (NLT) which says, “Love…keeps no record of being wronged.” He talking about people who are record keepers and he is saying that love doesn’t do that.

Does your spouse do that? Did you have a parent who did that? Do you do that? That isn’t love, that is a relationship killer and that is a power play. It’s not love.

Andy says, “Love chooses not to keep dousing the present with the past. Besides, it doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t move the relationship forward. If one of your parents was a record keeper, I suspect you gravitated relationally toward your other parent, didn’t you? Whose influence were you most open to? The filer’s or the forgiver’s? Who did you feel closest to? The filer or the forgetter? Funny how that works. Nobody gravitates toward humiliation. The path to influence is paved by acceptance, not truth.”

He continues, “A person can be exactly right and end up exactly alone. Filers can always justify their truth telling, but eventually they will truth the life right out of their most valued relationships. You don’t want to be reminded of your failures. Your love interest doesn’t want to be reminded either. So stop with all that.”

Now he adds, “Do behavioral dots need to be connected? Do patterns need to be examined? Sure. By request only. By a counselor. By a friend over coffee. But not by a spouse or significant other. Filing doesn’t foster love. Forgiving and pretending to forget are your best bets for sustained romance. I say pretending because, well because, there are some things we won’t ever forget. But there’s no point in bringing them up.”

That is very good stuff. In other words, don’t rehearse it, release it. Let God have it, let Him work on it.

So what is it that you need to forgive and pretend to forget?

Comments

"Jesus comes in the midst of the torrent."

A thought by Max Lucado from his book, You Are Never Alone (p. 60). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) We all have storms in our lives, don't we? Max says, "No one gets through life scot-free. At one point or another the sky will darken, the winds will rage, and we will find ourselves in a modern-day version of the Galilean gusher." John 6:16–18 (NIV) says, "When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum. By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough." Max goes on, "The hearts of the followers began to sink as their boat was certain to do. Their skin was soaked, throats hoarse, eyes wide. They searched the sky for a break in the clouds. They gripped the boat for fear of the waves. They screamed their prayers for help. But they heard nothing. "If only Jesu

“When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 57). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. To realize that from God’s perspective life is a test goes a long way in determining how you handle your life. It is important to see that in testing your character is both developed and revealed. Rick goes on to say that “even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God.” So there is a God purpose behind each situation in your life. Even the bad ones are there to strengthen you and develop you. You see those bad situations are really good ones because they are there for your good. I start each day with a reminder that God is good. Not every situation that is going to come in my day is good but because God is good He will use e

“What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 35). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. Rick posed this question at the end of his chapter, You Are Not an Accident. In this chapter he deals with the fact that God created you the way you are with a purpose. In other words you are not an accident. I am also reading the Apostle John’s view of Jesus and what He said and did while He was here on earth. In the beginning of Chapter 9 there is a story about a blind man. And the disciples who were with Him asked Him a good question, “Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind? ” Have you ever asked the same thing about something in you that you don’t like? Like that characteristic is a curse or something. Society has set a standard that is not a standard of God. Remember, He created you and you are not an accident. Jesus did answer the question about the blind

Just Continue That Thought...

Search This Blog