A thought by John C. Maxwell (2016-02-02) from his book, 3 Things Successful People Do: The Road Map That Will Change Your Life (p. 158). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
That is so true. Some families have never been taught how to handle problems but they do have them no matter what.
John says, “I’ve noticed that some people pursuing success seem to avoid the home environment. I suspect that one reason is that they are not able to handle family crisis situations well. They find it easier to try to avoid the problems altogether. But that’s not a solution.”
John then gives a quote by M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled. I hope you will read it. He says: “It is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and wisdom; indeed they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually . . . It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn. As Benjamin Franklin said, ‘Those things that hurt, instruct.’”
Now we don’t like pain, we want to run away from it but it always has some value to it. John goes on, “If we are to grow as families and be successful at home as well as in the other areas of our lives, we must learn to cope with the difficulties we find there. Here are some strategies to help you with the problem-solving process (He gives 6 but I will just give you the first and last. Buy the book and get the others):
“• Attack the problem, never the person. Always try to be supportive of each other. Remember, you’re all on the same side. So don’t take your frustrations out on people. Instead, attack the problem…
• Never withhold love. No matter how bad things get or how angry you are, never withhold your love from your spouse or children. Sure, tell them how you feel. Acknowledge the problems. But continue loving family members unconditionally through it all.”
Those are very good insights.